Broke the News

Payton had been asking us a ton if Santa is real, do we believe in Santa, is it really parents that play Santa, etc throughout the month of December. We always sort of skirted around the issue, we didn't claim it or deny it, and I felt awful. I hate lying, I've never been good at it, it disturbs me at the deepest level to be dishonest with anyone. It always cracks me up when people accuse me of cheating at games b/c I can't cheat, it goes against who I am, if I win, it's simply b/c I'm that good:).
Anyhoo, Trav wanted to come clean with Payton, but I was holding off, I love how imaginative she is and I didn't want to take the "magic" away. She completely lost it and burst into tears when she heard the story of the true St. Nicholas who left food and gifts for the poor in the middle of the night. She cried, "You mean he's not real???!!!" We talked her down but she was so upset we didn't tell her the whole truth that night. It was then I realized how serious this was to her.
We made it through Christmas and we had "the talk" two nights ago which she handled amazingly well, I was more apprehensive about it than the sex talk we had a few years back! She was sad, but didn't cry, understood how people came to celebrate Santa from the actions of a very good man who once lived. I was so relieved to not pretend anymore or come up with half hearted answers to her logical questions. Honesty (in love) is always better in my book!
I'm not even worried about Jonah, he's happily claimed he doesn't believe in Santa forever. His exact words were, "I only believe in Daddy and Simpson adults". He just told me today that he doesn't even believe in me. I'm not sure what that means.