First Day of School

Payton and Jonah started their new school today. This will hopefully be the last big transition they have for a long time! Trav and I divided and conquered in getting all the kids to their appropriate campuses at all the appropriate times. He took the boys, and I took Payton.



Payton was nervous and excited for her first day. I walked her up to sit with her class at the opening school assembly and then took a seat in back where I could watch her. She's a very silly, outgoing girl when she's in a safe, comfortable place, but this was her first day at a new school with new kids. I watched as all the kids got into the songs they sang and did the motions, and she was sitting with her arms crossed nervously, not really engaging. So painful to watch as a mom! It makes me emotional just thinking about it again. I know for certain she's going to come home and tell me what a great day she had and about all the friends she made, but for that long opening assembly she was very, very alone and feeling out of place, and there's nothing I could've done about it. It would've been very embarrassing if I had gone to sit by her, so I just had to watch her go through it. I hated being the new kid too, it sucks.
I went to a parent meeting after and met a few other parents, and then left the school emotionally drained and feeling totally discombobulated not having any children with me. I felt this on my first day with all three kids in school last year too. It just feels weird to have three little people determine almost every minute of my day every day, and then to just be left hanging by myself, even for an hour without purpose (which is all I had before I had to pick up Davey) throws me off. When Davey and I got home I just laid down and cuddled with him, not b/c he needed it, but b/c I did. I'll find my rhythm in the next few weeks, but today I'm a mess!