Love Lessons

God has been teaching me so much about love these last few weeks. I went out to breakfast with a dear friend last week and talked about how Jonah loves to cuddle at bedtime. He asks almost every night for one of us. Trav is good at being present and restful with the kids. He gets it. I'm embarrassed to say, but its a challenge for me, I go all day with the kids, and by bedtime I am crawling out of my skin for some quiet time alone. I indulge Jonah every once inawhile, but most of the time I tell him I would happily cuddle with him all day but night time I have stuff to do...
Then I started to think about how Jonah expresses his affection. He is a unique little boy, so bright, observant, but kind of keeps to himself in some ways. He doesn't freely hand out the "I love yous" or give impromptu hugs. I usually have to chase him down and squeeze one out of him. BUT, at night, in the quiet and the semi-dark of his room, he LAVISHES love, "I just love you mommy, you are the best mommy, I just like you mommy" and he talks on and on about his day or special favorite memories of his. God just burdened me so heavily for Jonah asking, "Why the heck aren't you doing this every night? Isn't creating space for Jonah to express and receive love one of the greatest priorities of being his parent? What kind of friend, husband, parent do you hope him to grow up to be? If you push aside this time with him, will he think that love didn't have time for him, that it's not that important?" Wow, it just became so clear to me all of a sudden. Then I spent the weekend at women's retreat learning to love well, and it just cemented this burden to love my kids' better.
One of my favorite quotes I got from another dear friend that did a mission year experience a long time ago. Their mission statement is, "Love God, Love Others, Nothing else matters". I've been writing that and rewriting that in my journal so much lately. I WANT to get this right with my kids, especially with little Jonah. If nothing else matters what else could be more important? I'll never be a perfect mom, but I can always grow and get better, my story's still being written!