This is Payton's standard dress for school each day. She will only wear t-shirts and shorts or jeans and her tennis shoes. She will ONLY wear her hair in two braids, possibly a single pony tail to "mix it up", never ever down. Ever. Her face visibly changes into a hard mask at the suggestion of a more tailored shirt or put together outfit. I don't even dare mention the D or S words (dress or skirt). I recently found every dress, skirt, and dressy shoe she owns shoved into a compact ball behind her hamper the other day. All I could say was "Unbelievable Payton" and then just scooped it up into a bag to pass on to another girl that loves a great dress.
So much of parenting is learning to let go. Early on I learned to not fight the clothes battle with Payton. It's how she expresses herself, and when I see her face the few times I insist my way, it brings me back to my battles with my own mum, her frustrations, my instant rebellion at what she might make me wear.
My mom made me a really cute Raggedy Ann dress when I was five, I admit as an adult now that it was a cute dress. But as a kindergartner, I was mortified by it. It had long poofy sleeves and a fat red bow on the front. I remember being embarrassed and stressed all day on the few times I had to wear it. It was distracting. It didn't feel like me. So, I keep those memories with me as I see Payton refuse time and again to wear a cute little outfit or dress. I try to empathize with what she's feeling. I now get to walk in my mom's shoes this time around.
Headstrong daughters, what can you do.
5 comments:
Again I say, it was very cute in 1978 and entirely appropriate for the era :0) I do feel for you though.
Is this little Trav or what? :)
Uh, La Rodriga...I don't believe I've ever worn pony tails in my hair.
Wow, so much wisdom for a how-should-I-phrase-this "tightly wound" mama like myself to soak in. I always appreciate the insight that you have to share with us!
I needed to hear this wisdom too. Em's been driving me crazy with what she will/won't wear...everything (pants, shirts, skirts and dresses) must be soft with no buttons, zippers, bows. I will let it go, and let Emory be Emory.
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